Recap
In the last session, people presented their homework by explaining what Jesus was communicating in His parables. The Parable of the Wedding Feast proves that those of us
- who are not dressed right [who do not put on righteousness, in other words,
- Who do not behave right in God’s house
These will be cast out. So it’s imperative that we know how to live in God’s Kingdom and among God’s people.
Summary
We spoke about the lack of:
- Understanding Boundaries
- Reverence
- Integrity
- Social Graces
- Understanding Timing
Group Activity – Presentation and Discussion
“This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; 3 not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; 4 one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence 5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); 6 not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. 7 Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
8 Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money”
Say how these scenarios are breaking ethical rules.
Scenario 1
A young, single woman meeting privately to counsel an older married man who’s at odds with his wife. She is not a trained counsellor but is just trying to help out a friend.
Boundary problem – Be wise as a serpent… Let not your good be evil spoken of… Jesus sent out the disciples in twos for a reason. “Do not remove the ancient landmark which your fathers have set.” Proverbs 22:28 – Remember the days of chaperones? Today we think it’s outdated and old fashioned but it worked.
Scenario 2
A church sister’s daughter got married. For financial reasons, the daughter and her husband came to live with her single mother. Whenever the daughter has differences
with her husband, the mother speaks up to defend her daughter.
Boundary problem
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
Even in the Eastern extended family model each son has his own separate family section within the wider compound.
Scenario 3
A really spiritual Christian gets up early every morning and prays aloud in tongues for at least an hour. He can be heard from a distance down the road. You can always know when he gets home from work because the whole community can hear the loud religious music he’s playing.
An imposition and spiritual pride – “They may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation.” 1 Peter 2:12
“Don’t wake up your neighbours early in the morning with a shout of ‘Good morning!’ They will treat it like a curse, not a blessing.” Proverbs 27:14 ERV
Scenario 4
You have a ‘friend’ who is always embarrassing you by correcting you in public. They say they do it because they love the truth.
Time and place problem – “Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” Matthew 18:15 “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.” 1 Timothy 5:1
Scenario 5
A church sister confided in you privately, asking you to pray for her because she is struggling with stealing. She said she would go into people’s houses and take little things. She doesn’t steal big things. Out of concern for her, you share it with your prayer group, telling everyone who the person is that is having the struggle.
A TMI and exposure problem
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.” Exodus 20:17
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15 Be sensitive to other people’s issues and struggles.“for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins.’”1 Peter 4:8 Love is the higher law
The Heart of the Matter is… the Heart Matters
The mouth speaks out of the overflow of the heart… What has filled your heart?
Proverbs 18:20-23 says, “A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; From the produce of his lips he shall be filled. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. 23 The poor man uses entreaties, but the rich answers roughly.”
Insincere people often interpret scripture through glasses that are tinted by their bias or desires.
This scripture is one such that has been butchered by the superstitious church goers who are overly fascinated by spiritual things and are unable to shake off their pagan past and their belief in the casting of spells etc, WHICH RELIES ON SPEAKING FORTH INTO THE ATMOSPHERE.
Matthew 21:28-31 ‘“But what do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, ‘Son, go, work today in my vineyard.’ 29 He answered and said, ‘I will not,’ but afterwards he regretted it and went. 30 Then he came to the second and said likewise. And he answered and said, ‘I go, sir,’ but he did not go. 31 Which of the two did the will of his father?” I mostly hear this scripture quoted with an understanding that our tongues have magical powers. Those I hear quoting it believe that we can say things that can somehow magically destroy someone or help them even if those words were uttered in secret. Not even the gospel of Jesus Christ has that power. A person must first hear the gospel to be powerfully impacted by it.
“And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? … So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Romans 10:14-17
To interpret Solomon’s words to mean that our tongues have magical powers is very dangerous as it is CHARISMATIC witchcraft. Yes, we can use our tongues to damage or heal people emotionally but there’s nothing magical about it. Yes, the words of a King or judge could literally save a life or condemn one to death but there’s nothing magical about it.
Understanding Positive Confession VS TRUTH
Betrayers often cause the massacre of whole cities because of the secrets they give away to the enemy. Jesus said that in the last days children will betray their own parents to death (Mark 13:12). It was what Judas said to the Sanhedrin and what Pilate said to the Roman soldiers that brought the suffering and death of Jesus the Christ.
Those who over spiritualise this statement soon start to make positives more important than truth. They also develop a fear of negative speech. They become terrified of being cursed by those who speak negative words.
This is not the Christian’s position. Being around these ‘word police’ is unpleasant, as they’re unable to appreciate humour and banter. It makes God out to be of inferior intelligence, not knowing the difference between the motive and intent behind one’s speech. Note, this is the same God who numbers every tear we shed, knows our unuttered words and the deep meditation of our hearts. Imagine that!
Solomon did not intend some super spiritual interpretation of his words. They are practical truths to be soberly considered and intentionally heeded. He completes the statement with the words, “…and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Solomon isn’t even so much talking about the damage we do to others but more so, of the damage we do to ourselves by having a loose tongue.
“Those who love it.” Love what? Their loose tongue. A way of saying, those who love to talk and will not discipline their tongue.
“Will eat its fruit” What does this mean? It means exactly what this scripture says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” Galatians 6:7 Expect a backlash from talking too much or from not filtering our words through careful thought.
Those who love ‘idle talk’ will have many regrets about the people they have hurt and the fallout caused from speaking out of turn or in haste or without due consideration of their hearers or before hearing both sides, or before studying the matter or before listening carefully. They will suffer the consequences of speaking out of anger or speaking from a position of ignorance or speaking unadvisedly or speaking deceitfully or using words to manipulate others.
Whatever fills our hearts will spill out through our mouths
What is our heart filled with? Is it goodness and blessings and encouragements or curses and complaining and disgruntlement? We need pure hearts today, for “To the pure all things are pure.” Let’s heed the stern warning from Solomon, the wise man of Scripture, before it is too late.
Prayer: Set a watch/guard over the doors of my mouth oh Lord, guard my lips. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight Oh Lord , my strength and my redeemer. Amen
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